As a new mumma (well not so new, as I have an almost one year old). Things are stressful.
You kind of glide through a lot of days as your are sometimes in a sleepy fog, with late night feeds and teething and just overall exhaustion from looking after a bubba, but even though the fog seems hazy and dazy, if you are anything like me you get this inner anxiety about a lot of things. I shouldn’t really say “inner” anxiety when talking about myself because if you know me, you will know that I call a spade a spade and I am usually very straight to the point about how I feel.
But back to the point… I guess as a woman, and a mum, we all try and disguise the stress or worry because its a job we are supposed to be able to do in our sleep (what sleep?). Running a household is supposed to be second nature and we think we are expected to just be able to do it, no questions asked.
We all can do it. Most of us are doing it, but in the same breathe, we are chipping away at all the energy reserves we have and usually don’t really have time to do any of the little things we want to do for ourselves.
I don’t know, but I suppose it was different 50-60 years ago when our grandparents etc were raising our parents and the man went off to work to make the money and the wife/mother stayed home and took care of the house and the children. Now days, that isn’t usually the case. Women have jobs too, and even more so careers. They not only need to go back to work but they want to. The men still work as they always have but the woman is still putting all the expectation on herself to have to raise this child/children and take care of the house (like a stay at home non working mum), while also having her career or job and contributing to part, half or a majority of the finances in the family.
Now here comes the conundrum… where does this leave a woman who is a mum, a wife, a business woman, a cleaner, a cook, a best friend, an all round general personal assistant for everyone… where does this leave time for her to do ANYTHING for herself? Normally, its doesn’t.
I’ve got a good husband and good support network in my family and I still get frazzled. I am a stay at home freelance graphic designer. So I am working from home, raising my little baby boy. I also have a few other part time marketing businesses that I am running. I cook for my husband and myself, I shop, I clean, I do all the food planning and prepping for my baby, I breastfeed (another major cause of being tired), I look after and feed a dog and cat, I pay bills, I do banking, I make appointments, I plan birthdays, I buy presents, I stress about sniffles and coughs, I worry about if I have given my baby enough mental and educational stimulation, I try to make sure my child has had enough social contact with other kids – but they can’t be sick cause I don’t want him to catch germs – but I also do want him to get some germs because thats good for them right, I worry about his diet, his teeth, his poop, his speech…. the list goes on and I am only reiterating the EXACT same things all you mums reading this are thinking and feeling. We all just care so much and love our family so much that we do EVERYTHING for all of them and don’t allow time for OURSELVES.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying women have been any different. Since the beginning of time we have been the nurturers, but now, in this day and age with us trying to be successful business women and having equality, we still have all the same roles and jobs as we did in previous times, we are just adding to the list of stresses in our lives, and our little hearts and souls sometimes can’t take all the pressure. We HAVE TO BE CAREFUL not to break ourselves, while taking care of everyone else.
And this post is not putting shit on men either! I honestly think most of the time its our fault as “strong independent women” that we refuse to ask for some help. I am guilty of that. It takes me getting so burnt out sometimes that I have no choice but to ask for help and then my husband steps up and does what needs to be done. We need to give them a bit of credit and actually TELL THEM that we are in need of a hand occasionally or often. We come from different planets remember…. sometimes things need to be spelt out for them to get the message!
Okay… so I want to help all of you awesome, amazing women to have a STRESS DETOX.
I want you to join me in committing to letting go of the pressure that you are putting on yourself.
Let it out into the universe and get rid of the weight that you HAVE to do everything. You don’t!
You just want to or think you have to!
I want you to allow yourself ONE DAY. One whole entire day.
If you are like myself and the 90% of the other sisters out there, you still of course have to do your normal daily life. Kid stuff, housework, job etc… but I want to you choose one day that you think would be best for this and allow yourself to not care about the shit. Let go of the shit you truly cannot change.
I am going to write a list of things that we all need to follow on this special day. Not rules, because that defeats the purpose of having a stress free day, you don’t want a bloody checklist to follow!
Just a guide as to how you can incorporate some chill times and how you can just let things be for your DETOX DAY.
I can’t wait. Who is with me?