TODDLER MELTDOWNS

Today we had meltdowns. A series of them.

As a mummy of a toddler, one of those “terrible two” kinds. I am getting quite verse to the over exaggerated emotional states that ensue some days. This morning however was riddled with these little super crazed episodes.

Maybe its the moon, the planets might not be cosmically aligned for my little Aries Goat. It is a Waning Crescent Moon at the moment and we are fast approaching a New Moon tomorrow night. This could be part of the reason why he is in stealth “freak the fuck out at any time” mode?!? I love how all of us mums start coming up with fictional excuses for why our precious little angels are losing their proverbial shit.

Lets go through some of the favourites:

1. He’s tired.
2. She’s teething.
3. He had a big morning.
4. I think its just too hot.
5. They must not be feeling well.
6. I have a feeling he is coming down with something.
7. She misses her… *make up some shit that is partially believable.
8. He wants to go home.
9. She must need to go to the toilet.
10. He is just hungry.
11. She didn’t sleep very well last night… (or any night since she was fucking born!).
12. We just have some big emotions happening at the moment.
13. Its a full moon.
14. Its a new moon.
15. There is a moon.
16. All I see is the moon because I am awake all fucking night long.
17. Did I mention I haven’t slept for 2 and a half years?
18. Whoops I got carried away there… I’m sure you see where I am going with this.

I’m sure that today’s issues must be the new moon on the horizon. Obviously! I mean what the fuck else would it be??? He slept surprisingly well last night I only got woken 12 times instead of 703. No… in all seriousness, he did sleep really well last night! I am actually rather refreshed. Its a really novelty!

So I didn’t think today would be so much of a problem for him and his two year old reasoning. Wrong. 

Firstly, he didn’t want to go out at all. I suggested a trip to the beach. That didn’t go down well. Then I suggested that we take Nanna (surely that is going to be epic)? Nope, that wasn’t going to be much chop either. So as any good mum does, you just get them ready and do all that shit anyhow and put up with the crankiness.

All good. We pick up Nanna and everything is sweet! Happy days. Get to the beach. Totally happy, lovin life! Then we go to the park. My child basically just ignores all the other kids and does his own thing. Spinning a steering wheel in a big yellow and red boat made out of clay. I think he could have stayed there for 2 hours so I suggested that we go over to this sandy water feature and play there for a while. That seemed to be a reasonable suggestion to him so thats what we did.

I mean… I make these suggestions but he is still the boss. Boss says “yes”. The water feature sandcastle thing is not very interesting at all and he stands stomping in a puddle while looking at his feet. Makes eye contact with a few kids. They seem as dull as ditch water so he goes back to puddle stomping. Two older girls are jumping in the sand… this looks fucking awesome, but he isn’t game to try that because he has the worlds best sense of self preservation ever… well since his mummy was born (I’m not very brave).

After a while I decide its time to call it quits and go to the shops and that idea is just bullshit to him. Tears. Lots of tears. I find a pink straw in my bag and that pacifies him, but as we cross the road he drops it and the whole bullshit part of the day gets worse. He tries to escape our grip to go get his pink straw from the middle of the road and realises thats not happening, and thats when he LOSES HIS MIND! Catastrophic meltdown.

Everyone in the shopping centre is doing those sideways stares like, “what is wrong with that child?”… or “what have you done to that poor baby?”. This is all over the fucking pink straw right! So I find a cafe and grab a new straw. My two year old is eager to see… “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”, he thinks to himself… “IT’S BLACK… I WANT A PINK STRAW YOU IMBECILE!”. I clearly lost that battle.

The rest of the trip involved going to one store and buying a small soccer ball for him, that was semi cool. Then we wanted to go into the supermarket. Well I mean to say, that shit was not going to fly. Tears again. Screaming and kicking. I console him with cuddles and some soothing mummy tones. We do a quick shop and buy another bag of coloured straws so he was happy again.

Aghhhh…. It can get exhausting! A simple 2 hours at the park or shop or beach to get out of the house can sometimes be a real unnecessary series of tears and wanting to fill your ears with putty to block out the screams. Two year olds. What crazy little cats.

He had one last meltdown when we dropped Nanna off home. Those tears were sadness though cause he does love spending time with his Nanna and he wanted to stay with her.

So far this afternoon has been tantrum free. Thanks to Toy Story and Curious George.

I’m off to study that Moon Cycle to see what kind of day we might have tomorrow. x